I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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