but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
