He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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