My room smells like vodka and shame
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
