Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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