so explain again why im purple
no
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
