thus making me awesome and them whores
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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