I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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