Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It's just like the Real World with babies
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
