he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
