I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
