There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
