So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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