yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
