when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
