is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
