We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
