u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
