Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I wish i was in the wii world.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.

(917): View more from New York City

me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.

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(303): View more from Colorado

You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life

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(575): View more from New Mexico

I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....

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(516): View more from New York

Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.

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