as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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