She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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