ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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