She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
