I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
