I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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