I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
