I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I need to calm my uterus...
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