I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize