butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
