I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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