This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
