so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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