We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize