Someone shit on the floor
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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