As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
