I wannas sexs uuuuu
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
