I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
