glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
