i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
