There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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