Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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