so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
