I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
