So drunk, too bad you don't want this
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
