You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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