elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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