imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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