Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
