David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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