are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
