Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
