Porn is love you can see.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
