Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
