Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
