i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
