she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
