i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
